Image: Kavi Vidya Achar / Fulcrum
EUROPE FEARS NATURE TAKING ITS COURSE
Editor’s note: Certain opinions expressed in this piece are satirical and not meant to endorse theft.
By now, we’ve all heard of the jewels that were stolen from the Louvre on Oct. 19. While many on the internet lament the loss of these jewels and the cultural significance they carry, I’d like to record this event as just another page in European museums’ long and well-documented history of theft. As long as the Kohinoor still weighs on the heads of British royalty, the theft of artifacts from European museums will not weigh on me.
The items stolen this Sunday, were in part or wholly made of jewels stolen from colonized countries: the Regent diamond, Hortensia diamond, Sancy diamond, and diamonds from the emerald and diamond necklace were stolen from India, as well as the Mazrin diamonds on the bodice bow of Empress Eugenie. The names of countries on Europe’s “To Steal From” list is long and extensive. In fact, UNESCO has even created a Virtual Museum of Stolen Cultural Objects to raise awareness for future repatriation of these objects.
So, I fail to understand why this theft requires legal recourse, when the original theft is praised and displayed instead. Perhaps this would not be considered theft if it was stolen by another country? (I know Britain would be happy to assist.) Or is it because so much time has passed since the original theft? Perhaps we should just wait a couple hundred years then.
And possibly, this is just a continuation of history. Maybe the destruction of historical artifacts is merely a preservation of a different type of tradition (theft). As the great philosopher Sabrina Carpenter once sang, “The bank robbed the people, so the people robbed the bank.” European museums steal from people, so people steal from European museums.
This also raises the question of whether the Louvre, or the many museums across Europe that hold colonial loot, can actually take care of these historical artifacts. Colonial powers have long justified their ownership of stolen items by saying that they can take better care of these items than the countries that these artifacts were stolen from. So, in light of the Louvre’s fiasco, I say perhaps these jewels are now in better, safer hands. If France cannot take care of its own jewels, it’s a sort of poetic justice that they’re taken off its hands.
If you are concerned about the safety of these jewels, do not worry. You might take comfort in knowing that colonized nations have been worrying about their lost treasures for centuries — and somehow, the world moved on. Just trust that a foreign power will take good care of it, and quietly forget about this situation. You would not want to upset international relations or seem to hold on too tightly to the past. Let’s put this behind us. And if the jewels resurface in another country, France can simply add it to the UNESCO website and hope for the best.
Just for fun, my bet is on the British museum opening up a new jewelry exhibit.
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